If you're waiting to hear back about your job application for attorney general, you're about to get some bad news. According to reports, Barack Obama has offered the gig to longtime lawyer and former deputy attorney general Eric Holder. Though there has been no formal announcement, sources say Holder has accepted the job, and will begin the confirmation process, which is kind of like being given a two-week long public colonoscopy, only less fun.

Who is Eric Holder, and can he possibly be worse than Bush nominees John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzales? The answer to the second question is, "no way in hell." For the answer to the first, check out our handy guide below.

Age: 57

Astrological sign: Aquarius. Aquarians are known for their high focus on intellectual exploration. They are outgoing and amiable, and can make objective judgments without letting emotions get in the way, a refreshing change from former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, who famously wrote the notorious "torture memo" after a buddy saw his girlfriend riding the Ferris wheel with another guy.

Current gig: Senior legal adviser to President-elect Barack Obama, partner at the Washington law firm of Covington & Burling, and all-around D.C. dreamboat.

Seriously: From a 1991 Washington Post profile:

"He's the judge the most lawyers would like to date," says a public defender, a gleam in her eye. Holder even gets mash notes from jurors. He calls them "my little juror groupies." One woman sent a letter in fine cursive script that closed with the assurance that she found him attractive for himself and did not have "black robe fever."

Despite his dreamy romance novel-type name: His middle name is "Himpton."

Thing for Republicans to go apeshit over: On the final day of President Clinton's second term, Holder recommended a pardon for Marc Rich, a billionaire fugitive who spent years on the run from tax charges and whose wife was a major donor to the Clinton legal defense fund.

"I'm Chiquita banana and I'm here to say, we funded terrorist groups who slaughter in an awful way!": Holder also represented Chiquita in a criminal case brought by the Justice Department regarding the company's payments to Colombian paramilitary death squads. Oops!

Once you get a taste, you just can't stop...: Briefly served as acting Attorney General for 14 days while the Senate confirmed George W. Bush's nomination of John Ashcroft.

Haven't they gotten enough already?: If confirmed, he would be the first African-American Attorney General.

Fun fact: None. Aside from the Chiquita thing, he's kind of boring.

Posted by: Jason Reich      I’m a fan of Jason Reich